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Is it better to be open & let your teen drink at home rather than them hiding it & drinkin at a friend’s home?

NursingStudent asked:

I am a student who is doing an Argumentative Essay on whether or not it is better to allow your teen to drink at home in your presence than it is to not allow it and then the teen go out and drink somewhere else or to hide it. I am looking for good print sources or journals that are reputable on this topic and I am very interested on thoughts and opinions on this topic.

23 Comments

  1. missenle wrote:

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    In some states it is perfectly legal to allow your child to have alcohol in your own home.

    So personally I think it is better in your own home. Then they don’t drive and then they cant get in trouble for anything.

    To BLM: Although drinking underage is usually looked down upon teens are going to do it anyways. It isn’t a matter of saying if it is ok or not. just because it is not ok doesn’t mean teens won’t do it. If they are going to do it anyways wouldn’t you think it is better when they are at your house so you can watch them?

    Friday, January 7, 2011 at 10:46 am | Permalink
  2. BLM wrote:

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    no it’s not better to let your teen drink at home. what the heck. nor should they be allowed to drink at a friends home. one is not better than the other for a solution. either way your saying drinking is ok. its not

    Monday, January 10, 2011 at 3:29 am | Permalink
  3. Jacob's Mommy wrote:

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    That’s a tough one.
    I guess you could say it is better to have them at home.
    But if you are found about by authorities to be supplying a minor with alcohol, you could end up in serious issues with the law!
    It’s all about how far would you go for your children?

    Thursday, January 13, 2011 at 4:48 am | Permalink
  4. NYmuch?♥ wrote:

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    I am a teen at the moment and I would feel more comfortable if my parents let me drink at home. Im not talking about wasted out of m mind. But the late night parties and rumors because of them are getting old. I felt (starting when I was 13) that because my parents made SUCH a big deal that I couldn’t even have a sip of wine on passover, that I had to find other ways to get it. Sure it was fun for a while, but I would have been happy satisfying my urge at first at home, so I wasn’t getting wasted every weekend now. Sure Teenage drinking is inevitable, but maybe it would happen less if parents were more open about it. It’s happening more and more everyday even at a higher percentage then when our parents were kids, parents ( just like the situation with teenage pregnancy) should be more open about it. Yes I understand the law is an issue, but I dont mean continues drinking fests with my parents. It would just be a little easier on all the teens if it was treated like a concern, but not taboo

    Friday, January 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm | Permalink
  5. Altstadtweib wrote:

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    Well, I am European and I live in the US and I usually would say “let your teen drink at home in my presence” rather than be at somebody’s house…., BUT
    since I do live in the USA I would not dare to allow my teens to have alcohol in my own house because I would be afraid that I would get reported and be locked up in jail. I mean it is against the law to allow minors to drink under the age of 21 and they will prosecute whoever supplies the alcohol to a minor. Every year you see some parents being locked up because they allowed their kids to have a party with alcohol…

    So, while in the US I would not allow it at all.
    BUT…while we are back in Europe during the summer….yes, my teens are allowed to have a beer or a glass of wine…

    Saturday, January 15, 2011 at 4:13 pm | Permalink
  6. georgestraitfan wrote:

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    What would you rather have? Your own teen drinking in your home in your presence and you are in control of the amount they can drink and letting them know when enough is enough, or going to someone’s random house to a party or to a friends house and not having any control of what they are drinking and how much. I would pick the first choice.

    Sunday, January 16, 2011 at 11:06 am | Permalink
  7. Jeff wrote:

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    The last I checked I am not the “Library of Congress”. If you want an opinion or a life experience this is the place. If you need resource material for a paper use the library like everyone else.

    Monday, January 17, 2011 at 12:39 pm | Permalink
  8. jen48220 wrote:

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    Here are two websites, one from the government and the other from State Univ. of NY, both reputable sources. In my opinion, I would like to be able to let my teen drink at home in the context of family gatherings, etc. to remove the taboo, sneaking around, etc. Hosting parties for teens is just asking to get in trouble with the law, so I wouldn’t do it. Also, whatever the drunk teens do after they leave your house, you will have contributed to causing it and could be held legally responsible.

    Thursday, January 20, 2011 at 10:54 am | Permalink
  9. MamaBear wrote:

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    Well, the law is actually a little fuzzy on this one, depending on the state in which you live. In many states, it is NOT against the law for a parent to serve their child alcohol. It is only against the law for the child to purchase alcohol, to have alcohol *in public* or to drive under the influence.

    As far as whether it’s “better”, I think it’s entirely up to the parents’ value system. If the parents do not drink, then it would be counter-value for them to permit drinking in their home.

    Personally, I think that the current laws, the way they are interpreted, do not permit young people to learn how to drink responsibly. Parents teach their children how to drive safely and responsibly — it seems to me that drinking a glass of wine or beer and being able to learn to determine your own personal limits for alcohol is just part of becoming an adult. I’d rather my child learn what alcohol tastes like in a home setting instead of at a secret high school party where there is a greater opportunity for DUI, etc.

    I would NOT permit my house to become “the drinking house” — my thoughts on this apply only to my own child, and I would not presume to make that decision for another parent.

    Friday, January 21, 2011 at 11:47 pm | Permalink
  10. Alarice S wrote:

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    the 1st option. For this reason:

    - if you’re their parents: letting them drink at home will make them feel more comfortable around you, thus will be more open to you in return, and they’ll also be more honest with you. They feel that you’re their friend, feel less scared of you, and less likely to lie to you. That’s always good. When someone has lied, they’re more likely to lie again. So they may have other problems much worse than drinking, and you’ll have no idea about it. Also, when they drink at home, you’ll feel safer. At least you know that they’re not taking drugs, or having unsafe sex. You can also observe how they drink: are they drinking excessively to ignore personal problems, or are they drinking moderately for fun

    Before my family was severely strict about drinking, smoking, sleeping late, and going out on the weekends. Guess what? I skipped school to go shopping with friends, smoked weed, and drank excessively. I did all those things as a sense of ‘vengeance’ for their excessive control over me, and because I felt lonely for the same reason that I was lying to them. And I did all those things again to escape from these thoughts. It’s a cycle. Luckily, I eventually woke up. It was God’s words, the bible, that changed my life.

    Saturday, January 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm | Permalink
  11. Trey M wrote:

    personal evaluation

    OK, my parents are actually okay with me drinking in the near future (im 14) as long as i don’t drink and drive. They said they know im going to, so there isnt any point telling me not to, and that its a right of passage thing.

    Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 5:51 am | Permalink
  12. im_the_one_dear_fella wrote:

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    lol your teen shoudlnt be allowed to drink anywhere. lol what kind of parent could u be if u allowed and pussed that attitude in ur kid and also there must be something wrong if they start drinking and hiding. …. i think u should put in ur essay that they shoudl go to counceling … heh

    Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 6:37 am | Permalink
  13. Barb S wrote:

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    Teens should not be drinking period. There is too much alcohol and drug problems in the world already

    Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 7:48 am | Permalink
  14. Lisa B wrote:

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    i say do wat ever you fell like doing.

    Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 6:58 pm | Permalink
  15. Shelly P wrote:

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    It’s better to set RULES for your child and hold them to it.. Don’t naively belive they’ll always obey, but make sure they AREN’T drinking..

    My mom never used the lame excuse (They’ll do it anyway) to allow us to do ANYTHING she felt was wrong.. and guess what, with proper parenting.. we never experimented with drugs, alcohol, sex, etc etc.. we withstood the peer pressure

    huh!! Guess it IS possible..

    Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 11:21 am | Permalink
  16. jenni m wrote:

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    in wisconsin it is legal to drink with your parents in the house untill you are 18.

    Monday, January 31, 2011 at 7:13 am | Permalink
  17. Sharon M wrote:

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    First of all, underage drinking is illegal and the parent who allows this can go to jail. Having said that, it depends on what you mean by drinking. Do you mean allowing your son or daughter to have a glass of wine with dinner if the adults are or do you mean allowing you child to get drunk? If you mean the latter, there is no excuse for that. Binge drinking is dangerous no matter where it occurs and it is up to the parent to set standards for behavior. It’s really more the principle of the thing. If you allow your child to break the law or engage in dangerous or unhealthy practices, you will be teaching them that it is acceptable. If something is wrong, it is wrong. I would google binge drinking and parental arrests for underage drinking and see what you get. Also, I believe the the American Academy of Pediatrics has had articles on this in their official journal.

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011 at 5:57 am | Permalink
  18. britanybaby2780 wrote:

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    athough it may not be leagal but it is safe. lets say your child goes to a party, they drink, if they know what it is supposed to taste like already then they would know if anything was slipped into it. ya know. either way your child is likely to drink behind your back regardless if you let them in your home.

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011 at 10:04 pm | Permalink
  19. Elizabeth wrote:

    truck rentals for moving

    If you teach your kids to drink at home, they will just be better drinkers outside the home. NOT ALL TEENS DRINK! And most likely the teens that do it at home are doing it somewhere else too. Why teach your kids to be alcoholics? Many adults can not control their drinking and teenagers lack the ability to think about the future, they will not consider how drinking can affect them into their adult years. Also, what happens if they bring friends over, are the parents going to let them drink too? Then the parents are criminals. Besides the fact that alcohol is BAD for you and drinking long term CAN KILL YOU. (liver cancer, cirrhosis, alcohol poisoning) You may be setting your kid up to die later because they learn early the only way to relax is to drink alcohol.

    Friday, February 4, 2011 at 7:26 pm | Permalink
  20. California.Hollyhood. wrote:

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    they’re gonna drink it either way.
    if they drink at home,
    they won’t think its that bad,
    there for they’d still go to their friends house and drink it.
    i have some friends whos parents let them drink at home
    and one brought it to school and got extreamly drunk.
    cost her her rep.
    the rest go to parties and drink more than the rest of the people there.

    and no, not all teens drink.
    but A LOT do.
    and just telling them to stop won’t do shit.

    Saturday, February 5, 2011 at 10:47 pm | Permalink
  21. BriarKat wrote:

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    Neither..it’s illegal either way.

    Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 11:32 pm | Permalink
  22. helene wrote:

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    This is a false choice, because permitting the one will definitely not prevent the other from happening. They will drink in front of you AND they will go out and drink with their friends, like it or not. Because they want to get drunk with their friends, not just have 1-4 drinks with their parents, and you are not ALLOWED to serve alcohol to other people’s children. Just your own.

    Besides, allowing them to drink at home to preclude drinking elsewhere is kind of like letting the kids call the shots—which is never a great idea. Next you’ll be allowing them to have sex at home so they won’t have to sneak around and hide it, or smoke so they won’t have to go elsewhere to do it. If you want to DISCOURAGE a behavior, you don’t allow it in the home—that’s a very mixed message to send. Let ‘em sneak around. That’s at least traditional. A parent may not be able to stop their children from doing certain things, but they certainly can dictate what happens in their home. If the kid doesn’t like it, they can leave.

    Monday, February 7, 2011 at 10:29 pm | Permalink
  23. Paramorerocks wrote:

    evaluating teachers

    Wait you can DIE for this country but you CANNOT drink until your 21? Im sorry but if I had to be in the miltary because of a draft I would go to jail. That law is just stupidity.

    Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm | Permalink